by Crystal Money
It is without fail that, when a couple takes the leap of marriage, the pestering for offspring begins. The question is never ARE you have having kids, but rather WHEN. Then, after you explain your choice to not have kids, you are often met with a dismissive ‘Oh you’ll change your mind’ or ‘You just don’t know what you want.’ A childfree marriage is valid and complete without kids, and I have admired how the always funny Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi have handled the naysayers when it comes to their choice to be married without children.
Interview question after interview question…
As with all fame and celebrity, the pestering for Ellen and Portia has been relentless. As two iconic women who are funny, energetic, beautiful, intelligent, and philanthropic, the press and public have had a hard time understanding how they could possibly not want their own children. Ellen and Portia have had interview question after interview question posed to them with the assumption that they were planning to have children, and therefore have found themselves coming up with more creative ways to assure the press and public that they are a complete family without children. The following are two of my favorite responses:
We thought about it. We love to be around children after they’ve been fed and bathed. But we ultimately decided that we don’t want children of our own. There is far too much glass in our house. -Ellen
There comes some pressure in your mid-30s, and you think, Am I going to have kids so I don’t miss out on something that other people really seem to love? Or is it that I really genuinely want to do this with my whole heart? I didn’t feel that my response was ‘yes’ to the latter. You have to really want to have kids, and neither of us did. So it’s just going to be me and Ellen and no babies — but we’re the best of friends and married life is blissful, it really is. I’ve never been happier than I am right now. -Portia
Childfree Celebrity Role Models
Ellen and Portia, like many childfree couples, obviously gave great thought and discussion to the choice of having kids. The weight of their responsibilities, goals, concerns, and dreams greatly overtook any desire to have kids. Even though the presumptuous questions will likely never end, it is encouraging to see childfree celebrity role models speaking honestly, lovingly, and humorously on the importance of their choice to be married without children.
As part of a complete childfree family, I can identify greatly with the struggle to comfort those concerned that my partner and I might be missing a part of our lives without having children, that our lives are somehow lacking. Childfree couples are able to give time, money, care, and love into the world in a variety of ways that do not require having kids of our own. Like Ellen and Portia, we thought long and hard about the choice to not have kids, considering all of our goals and aspirations for life. We are confident in our choice and are ready to move forward through life without children. And besides, we have a lot of glass in our house as well.
Thank you, Crystal!
Crystal Money is the 2016 Childfree Woman of the Year.